Meaningful
by EllieRose101
Summary: Xander once said dreams are meaningful. Well, luckily for Buffy, some are also extremely healing and helpful. (One-shot set amid the mess that was Season Six.)


Meaningful 

Walking through the mist rising all around her, Buffy was in awe of this new experience. It wasn't like a Slayer dream, or a regular wacky dream, but one that felt almost more real than being awake. She was aware of everything, like her senses were all on high alert, yet there was a peace about the place, too.

Buffy knew she was dreaming, she knew it was important, and she knew she'd remember it just as if the occurrences happened while conscious. Remember it better, even. The only thing she didn't know, was where all that certainty came from. She hadn't felt certain in so long. Not since _before_. And the safety of it made her want to cry like a baby. Again she felt peace flowing through her, stifling her inner sorrow. Then a child appeared, up ahead, and Buffy walked to her.

In much the same way as she had done with the Anointed One, Buffy took the girl's hand and followed her. No words were exchanged. It was instinctual, and she knew wherever they were going was going to change her life. Buffy felt ready for change. She craved it.

A clearing appeared ahead, where the mist thinned out, and Buffy saw Spike standing there, in the middle, with all her friends around the edge, in the more obscured parts. They were looking back at her, but Spike had his eyes downcast, not meeting hers. She was surprised how much his broken demeanor made her heart ache. It was not something that she allowed herself to feel, normally. It was something that she always pushed away. But here, in the dreamscape, the feelings had joined together in a mass that was inescapable. Still moving forwards, toward Spike, she looked up at her friends again, finding there the looks of confusion and judgment she feared. Confusion from Willow, and judgment from Xander, but also encouragement from Tara, hopefulness from Dawn, and mischief from Anya. Their thoughts were almost audible, as each face hung open as a book, but still silence remained.

She was there now – inches from him. Buffy began to reach out, but then hesitated and dropped her hand back to her side where her fingers fidgeted. Looking down at them, as if to will bravery into the unruly appendage, Buffy was surprised to see long white fingers she knew so well intertwine with her own. The fidgeting stopped. He raised her hand to his lips, and her eyes met his for the first time.

As soon as his lips – firm yet soft – touched her knuckles she felt the building emotion burst around her, almost as bright as his eyes. Unable to resist it, Buffy embraced all of the feelings she'd spent months denying and, as she did, she saw the fear leave Spike's eyes, only to be replaced by love. It took her breath away, for a moment, and then a movement on the sidelines distracted her.

Buffy's eyes darted to Anya, who had placed a hand over Xander's mouth. She watched as she physically turned his head around to look at her. The girl, whom Buffy was assuming was some kind of guardian angel by this point, was standing between them, holding Anya's free hand along with one of Xander's. They both looked down at the girl, and it seemed as if some wisdom was imparted in the look they got back in return, for then their eyes shot back to each other. Anya had taken her hand from Xander's face to place it over her mouth, in shock, while he looked guilty. There was a nod from both of them towards the girl, acknowledging they understood, and then they faded out of the dreamscape. Buffy didn't know what it was all about, but she had a feeling they too would remember this tomorrow, and that she'd soon find out the ensuing consequences.

The girl moved to Willow and Tara, reaching her hand up to hover over Willow's heart when she got there. Willow looked down, and saw a darkness swirling around her chest, while Tara echoed Anya's earlier look of shock. Tears fell from both their eyes, then Willow also nodded at the girl and they too faded out.

Dawn and Buffy, who had witnessed all of this, then looked at each other, wondering what the girl would reveal to her but, instead of joining hands, or imparting knowledge with a look, the girl walked around Dawn and then over to Buffy. Following, Dawn made her way to where her sister was standing, and then instinct took over once more, leading them in a tight embrace. A tension that Buffy hadn't even been aware of seemed to lift from her shoulders, and she saw for the first time that Dawn wasn't a little girl anymore. Amazed by the beautiful woman her sister had become, Buffy placed a kiss on her cheek and, with a wide, watery smile, Dawn was also gone from the dream.

After the confusion of seeing the exchanges between Xander and Anya, and Willow and Tara, plus the release of her interaction with Dawn, Buffy's attention fell back upon Spike. As caught up as she'd been, the Slayer had all but forgotten him, and the glow she'd put in his eyes had already dulled.

Before her eyes, Buffy saw bruises bloom all across his skin, and when her hand reached out to touch him again, she saw cuts had appeared on her own. She looked at the girl, pleading silently for an explanation, and the girl's eyes fell upon the hand that still rested by Buffy's side. Around her palm swirled a darkness similar to the one that had circled Willow. Looking at it, Buffy realized that it was the cause of hurt to both of them, and that she was the one in control of it. She had the power to let it fall from her hand.

The girl approached Buffy a final time, and as Buffy handed the darkness over to her, she saw her cuts heal, and Spike's bruises vanish. His eyes, however, where further dulled. Looking at him, she saw a vulnerability she'd never noticed before. There were cracks in his chest, and she saw that he had a darkness within him too. Hidden as it was, Buffy could see where parts of it had seeped out the fissures only to burn away into nothing once it reached the pale flesh on the surface. His skin was seared in the places where the darkness was burned out of him, but Buffy knew that it was necessary; that the rest had to come out, and that it would hurt. She could see he wanted to be free of it, but also that he was scared. It would take a great sacrifice, and he looked uncertain that he could bear it.

Taking a single step away from him, Spike's eyes instantly shot up to meet with hers again, searching for meaning in her action. Buffy returned his gaze with confidence, telling him silently that it was okay. She could feel the emotions warring within him, and she sent him feelings of love, security, and peace in return. Without words she got a message to him that she believed in him, and that he could do it on his own; that she trusted him.

He closed his eyes.

The entire dreamscape fell away as Buffy's focus was drawn completely to whom she now knew with complete certainty was her soul mate. Not once did her gaze falter as she watched the flesh of his chest pulse with agony as the cracks deepened, and more darkness spilled out. The droplets evaporated into the burning air next his skin, leaving welts in their place. Tears fell from his still closed eyes, as he clenched his fists against his suffering. Only when the tears fell upon the welts were they soothed. Buffy felt relief flood through him, and when the last drops of both darkness and tears were gone, he was free, and light shone out from the cracks instead. His chest healed up, from the inside out, and when his eyes opened, the glow was back, but it was different – more pure.

Buffy cupped Spike's face, and he smiled back at her like she was the sun. Then he took her hands in his, and fire broke out between them. As quickly as the flames came, they vanished, leaving only a single scar on each of their palms – a symbol, marking them as united and whole. When they kissed, they jolted out of the dreamscape.

Buffy's eyes flicked open, and immediately she looked down at her hand, which she was happy to find still bore the mark. Overwhelmed as she was with her happiness, her hand then went to her chest, as it overflowed with what had been deeply repressed emotion. She turned in the bed, to face Spike, and he was sat up in an identical position looking back at her. The same certainty from the dream was there – the same freedom – and when they once again joined lips reality was set. So much had changed, and Buffy didn't know how or why, but she was so thankful for it. The Powers That Be had pulled her from a hole – and she suspected her friends had been pulled from their own ditches, too – yet it had just been a single dream. A single night, and it had fixed so much; so completely. They kissed and kissed and kissed, and nothing was as it had been before. Life had meaning again. For the first time since Buffy had jumped from Glory's tower she got her fire back, and truly felt alive again.

Looking down at her daughter, from the heavens, Joyce smiled. An angel approached her, and complemented her on her work, but she said nothing and just continued to smile, happy her many months of incessant pleading with the Powers That Be had paid off. Buffy wouldn't remember their time together, in heaven, but now she had a little slice of it on earth, and it satisfied her mother.

_The End_

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Author End Notes: I hope you liked this. It's a little different from what I usually write, but it came to me in a dream x


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